1
00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:09,360
[Earl Narrating] I'd be lying if I said I wasn't
nervous about doing number 86 on my list-

2
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:11,400
stole a car from a one-legged girl.

3
00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:15,240
You said you loved me!

4
00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:17,240
[Ricochet]

5
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,960
[Earl Narrating]
I understand why she was so upset.

6
00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:28,440
That car was like a leg to her.

7
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,000
If you'll just let me explain.

8
00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:34,040
You son of a bitch!

9
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:40,280
Wow. You move pretty good
with that leg, Didi.

10
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:43,240
[Earl Narrating]
And as handi-capable as one-legged Didi was...

11
00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:45,560
her no-legged boyfriend
was handi-capabler.

12
00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:47,520
Damn!

13
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:54,560
I was starting to think that today
wasn't the day to do number 86 on the list.

14
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,640
Maybe karma wanted me
somewhere else.

15
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:06,160
And then I got a sign. Number 4-

16
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:08,200
blew Dad's chance
to be elected mayor.

17
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,960
You know the kind of guy
who does nothing but bad things...

18
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:15,920
and then wonders why
his life sucks?

19
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:20,080
Well, that was me.
Every time somethin 'good happened to me...

20
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:23,320
somethin' bad was always waitin'
around the corner.

21
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,160
Karma.

22
00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:28,280
That's when I realized
I had to change.

23
00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:31,760
So I made a list of everything bad
I've ever done...

24
00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:34,840
and, one by one, I'm gonna make up
for all my mistakes.

25
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:36,840
I'm just tryin'
to be a better person.

26
00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:39,400
My name is Earl.

27
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,240
So how many times did this robot man
hit you with that sign?

28
00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:49,720
I don't know.
I blacked out after about seven.

29
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,920
Still can't figure out
why he took my boots.

30
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,000
Seems like a pointless crime.

31
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,040
Man, I wish I had robot legs.

32
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:59,360
Or robot hands.
Robot hands would be cool.

33
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:03,560
With like, a knife finger,
and a spoon finger, and a fork finger...

34
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:08,080
anda toothbrush finger, anda comb finger,
anda bottle openerfinger...

35
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:11,720
and a flashlight finger
and a screwdriver finger.

36
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:15,440
But regular thumbs.
You gotta have regular thumbs.

37
00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,720
True.

38
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:21,320
So, you're gonna ask your father
to run for this mayor thinger?

39
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:25,440
If he'll talk to me.
We don't exactly have the best relationship.

40
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:29,080
[Earl Narrating] That's me- baby Earl.
And that's my dad, Carl Hickey.

41
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,720
Typical dirty politicians.
It's corrupt all the way to the-

42
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,880
Dag nab it, Kay!
Point his dingle the other way!

43
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,640
He ruined my blueberry crumble.

44
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:40,200
My father was the kind of guy
that was always frustrated with the world.

45
00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:43,680
And as I grew older, he became more
and more frustrated with me as well.

46
00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:48,800
Well, Earl, what are you doing up
so late, little fella?

47
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:49,120
Well, Earl, what are you doing up
so late, little fella?

48
00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:51,880
Ooh!
[ Groaning ]

49
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:56,480
Sorry, Rick.
We're having him tested.

50
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,520
Whether it was getting behind
Ford, McGovern...

51
00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:08,640
Carter or the metric system,
my father was always on the losing side of things.

52
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,280
Hell, even in his own castle,
he wasn't king.

53
00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:14,880
His own sons gave him less respect
than the world did.

54
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,520
- [ Doorbell Rings ]
- [ Kay ] Carl, get up.

55
00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,080
The Goldbergs are here for dinner.

56
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,640
[ Groans ]

57
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:26,520
[ Both Chuckling ]

58
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:29,920
[ Earl Narrating ] As I grew older, my pranks
got the attention of the authorities.

59
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,600
[ Siren Chirps ]

60
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,720
- Police! Freeze!
- It ate my card.

61
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,680
But, as frustrated as he was with us,
Dad came to bail us out.

62
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:48,440
Of course, bailing us out just gave us
another opportunity to get into more trouble.

63
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:50,480
[ Siren Wailing ]

64
00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,480
Drop it, or I'll shoot you
in the face!

65
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,240
Uh, I locked my keys
in my car.

66
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:59,560
But, as frustrated as he was,
Dad bailed us out again.

67
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,000
And again.

68
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,240
And again.

69
00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,120
But eventually Dad gave up on us.

70
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,120
Looks like you're
in for the night.

71
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:19,160
- Was it my fault we got caught?
- Of course it was your fault.

72
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,440
I was half way down the block
with the basket of money...

73
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,640
and you tripped
over your damn dress.

74
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:28,000
I told you to go as a priest, but no,
you thought it'd be funny to dress as a nun.

75
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:31,520
If you had just listened to me
instead of worrying so much about trying to-

76
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,440
It's funny, isn't it.
Is it funny?

77
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,640
- Yeah, it's funny.
- I told you.

78
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:42,000
It's because I'm a man,
but I'm dressed like a woman.

79
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:44,600
[Earl Narrating]
I dida lot of things to disappoint my dad...

80
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:48,040
but it was something
I did four years ago that hurt him the most.

81
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,760
If you are like me,
you are always asking yourself...

82
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:54,120
" How can our children learn to putt
when DC-10s strafe the fairway?"

83
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:58,240
Let's send those planes away from our fairways,
away from nearby homes...

84
00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,440
and over this blank spot, here.

85
00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:03,720
Vote Marty Park for mayor.

86
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:08,640
Golf scores come down,
home values go up!

87
00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,360
[ Announcer]
Paid for by Marty Park for mayor.

88
00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:15,840
The blank spot is us.
He's got planes flying over the blank spot, Kay.

89
00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:17,760
The blank spot is us!

90
00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:19,920
[Earl Narrating]
My father was mad as hell...

91
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,840
and for the first time
in his life...

92
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,560
he wasn't gonna leave it up
to the politicians to change the world.

93
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,520
- He was gonna change it himself.
- [ Woman ] All right, Carl.

94
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,640
- He decided to run for mayor.
- [ Horns Honking ]

95
00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:36,640
Back when I was married to Joy,
she often filled the role of designated driver.

96
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,720
Of course, that didn 't mean
we stayed out of trouble.

97
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:42,720
[ Siren Wailing ]

98
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:47,120
What kind of idiot throws
a beer can at a cop car?

99
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,120
Ma'am, I need you
to get back in your vehicle.

100
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:52,840
If I lose my license because of you,
I swear to God, Earl.

101
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:56,320
I need you to get back in your vehicle.
I don't wanna use my Taser.

102
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,560
Oh, please.
Put your little ray gun away.

103
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:00,480
- Shoot her.
- No, no, don't. Don't shoot her.

104
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:04,200
- [Randy] Shoot her.
- Get back in your vehicle, miss. I-I will tase you.

105
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:07,200
I wish you would tase me.
I'll sue your ass so fast you'd-

106
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,760
[ Man ]
For years, Carl Hickey's son has been a menace...

107
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:24,000
to the good people of Camden County,
and now he's assaulting the police.

108
00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:27,040
How can Carl Hickey
raise our standard of living...

109
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:30,240
when he can't even raise
his own son?

110
00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:32,720
Paid for by Marty Park for mayor.

111
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:36,960
It was my dad's one chance in life to make
a difference in the world, and I ruined it.

112
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:38,880
He's not gonna
be able to sleep tonight.

113
00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,920
I 'm gonna have to crush up
a little sleep aid in his pudding snack.

114
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,840
[Earl Narrating]
He lost in a landslide.

115
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:48,080
Not only did I take away his chance of winning,
I took away his will to fight.

116
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:55,280
I wasn't excited about
going to see my folks.

117
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:59,560
I tried to get Randy to go with me,
but just talking about it made him nervous.

118
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,480
So, after a few days,
I decided to brave it alone.

119
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:07,240
[ Chattering ]
And then I said-

120
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,440
Doris, I'm gonna
call you back later.

121
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:13,200
- Hey, Mom.
- You need money, Son? Is that it?

122
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:15,200
- No, I just wanna-
- [Carl] Kay, who is it?

123
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,960
Uh, just the Mormons, Carl.

124
00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:20,680
He's down on the Mormons, so you better
scoot. I'll put $20 under the lawn goose.

125
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:22,600
No, I don't need money, Mom. I-

126
00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:26,000
For the last time, boys,
we already have a lord.

127
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,360
Dad, wait.

128
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,880
Look, I've changed.
We need to talk.

129
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,680
- [TV On]
- Okay, we're starting supper.

130
00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,480
I'll leave $30 under the goose
and some PowerBars.

131
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:43,880
Look, I made a list of all the bad things
I did, and I'm making up for them.

132
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,960
- Ruining your election is number 4.
- What election?

133
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,880
- To be mayor.
- Idiot, that was four years ago.

134
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,040
Why in purple heck would
I want anything to do with politics now?

135
00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:55,680
- [Airplane Passing Overhead]
- [ Continues, Indistinct ]

136
00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,800
...a lifetime of happiness.

137
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:04,000
I should have sold your worthless behind
to the traveling circus.

138
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:07,120
But you could win. I'll help.
You'll see, I've changed.

139
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,840
[Woman On TV] Later in the week, a cold-
[ Channel Changes ]

140
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,680
Dad?

141
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,800
[Woman On TV] A quarter cup of the celery
and carrot mixture there.

142
00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,480
- [ Man On TV] Now do we dice-
- So, this is it?

143
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:20,160
You never wanna see
your sons again?

144
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,880
You've just completely written me
and Randy right out of your life?

145
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,040
[Toilet Flushes]

146
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,480
- Randy?
- No.

147
00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:30,480
What's he doing here?

148
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:32,520
He's here every Sunday.

149
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,440
He told me he was
in a regular poker game.

150
00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:36,720
He is. He is, and we play
for those little marshmallows.

151
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:39,160
Then when we're done, we divide them up
and we put them in our cocoa.

152
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,200
- [DoorOpens ]
- That way, everybody wins.

153
00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:44,720
How come you hate me,
but you'll gamble for marshmallows with Randy?

154
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,640
Well, there's a difference
between you two.

155
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,080
See, one of you's bad
and one of you's simple.

156
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:53,120
- And, Earl, you're bad.
- What am I?

157
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:55,880
- Randy!
- No.

158
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,120
- [Carl] Kay!
- Uh, check under the goose. Twenty minutes.

159
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,720
No, uh, Mom,
I don't need any money.

160
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,360
I'm sure your parents
will forgive you eventually.

161
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,760
Your mom is sweet,
and Carl has a very good heart.

162
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,960
- Have you been there too?
- No.

163
00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:19,680
- Are you mad at me?
- I'm fine.

164
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:23,000
- Are you sure?
- Just come in. I'm not mad at you.

165
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:25,400
What are you doing?

166
00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:29,120
I'm entering Dad in the election whether
he says he wants me to or not.

167
00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,480
So you can cross him
off your list?

168
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:34,520
It's about more than the list, Randy.
I want him to see I've changed.

169
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:38,160
- I want us to be a family again.
- That would be cool.

170
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,440
Plus, if Dad was mayor...

171
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:44,640
we'd get to wear top hats and sashes
and judge beauty contests.

172
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:46,680
That's Monopoly, Randy.

173
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,640
No, th-that's not Monopoly.

174
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,360
[Airplane Passing Overhead]

175
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:10,560
Welcome to the candidates' debate
for Camden city mayor.

176
00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:12,920
Hi. I'm Rhonda Gibbs.

177
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,720
In this live broadcast...

178
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:20,520
incumbent Marty Park
will be debating challenger Carl Hickey.

179
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:23,160
- What the heck?
- My goodness, put a tape in.

180
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:26,040
- You're gonna be on TV.
- I'm not running for mayor.

181
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,800
How the heck do they think I'm gonna debate
if I'm sitting right here?

182
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:32,640
Filling in for Carl Hickey
will be his son, Earl Hickey.

183
00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,120
No, no, no, no.

184
00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:36,080
My father is feeling
a little under the weather.

185
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:39,400
Now don't embarrass me.
Don't embarrass me.

186
00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:41,320
[Woman On TV]
Nothing serious, I hope.

187
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:44,280
Uh, diarrhea.

188
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:50,080
I-I'm gonna get you a little ginger ale.
That always helps your tummy.

189
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:54,160
[Airplane Passing Overhead]

190
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:59,200
And my administration's
careful budget reallocation...

191
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:01,400
targeting our transportation
infrastructure...

192
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:05,200
has already made Camden's streets and bridges
the envy of this great state.

193
00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:10,000
Mr. Hickey, your views
on transportation infrastructure.

194
00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:19,680
One time my dad made his own driveway sealer
out of maple syrup and ground-up glass.

195
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:23,800
Randy tried it on pancakes. That's another story.
But ifyou've got a minute, I'd like-

196
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:26,560
Will you get off the stage,
you idiot.

197
00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:29,040
Are you- Are you
talking to me or him?

198
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:32,520
I'm talking to you, Earl.
You're embarrassing us all.

199
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:37,240
Your moth- Hey, that's enough of that.
Stop it. Stop! Stop it!

200
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:40,520
I told Carl those pants
make his legs look stubby.

201
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,520
Okay, fine. Put this on TV.

202
00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:46,400
Don't vote for me.
I don't want to be mayor.

203
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:50,040
I ran four years ago to stop
the jet planes from flying over...

204
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:53,080
but until he brought it up,
I hadn't thought about the planes for ages.

205
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:57,680
I've gotten used to them.
Everybody's gotten used to them. It's fine!

206
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:01,280
[Earl Narrating] He was right.
People had gotten used to them, until now.

207
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:05,960
- [Airplane Passing Overhead]
- Did you hear that, Doris? Uh, h-hold on.

208
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:10,400
Once Dad mentioned thejet noise
on TV, people started to notice again.

209
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:17,000
- [Airplane Passing Overhead]
- A lot of people.

210
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:18,920
[Airplane Passing Overhead]

211
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:22,880
All of a sudden, people started to notice
the noise they had gotten used to.

212
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:26,400
[Airplane Passing Overhead]

213
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,880
[Airplane Passing Overhead]

214
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:35,000
I am gonna kick somebody's ass!

215
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:39,560
My dad's words had reminded people
of how much they hated the airplanes.

216
00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:43,960
So many people called my dad the next day
that he decided to enter the election.

217
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:47,520
Thanks to me, he was once again fighting
for what he believed in.

218
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,880
I'm Carl Hickey,
and I need your vote.

219
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:55,040
- [Airplane Passing Overhead]
- But I shouldn't have to shout
over airplanes to get it.

220
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,200
[ Laughs ]
Thank you.

221
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:59,240
Now don't misunderstand
the cookie.

222
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:02,440
We like air travel. We just don't want
planes flying over our heads.

223
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,360
It's all on the back
of the cookie.

224
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,280
- Good morning.
- Vote Hickey.

225
00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:10,200
- Vote Hickey.
- Oh.

226
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:12,920
All right, way to go, Dad.
We're gonna win this thing.

227
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:17,640
- Will you get the heck out of here?
- What? Why?

228
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,080
I-I'm the reason you're running again.
I wanna help.

229
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:24,080
I'm runnin' because the people asked me to,
not because of your foolish behind. Scram.

230
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,480
- Dad, it's on my list. I need to help.
- What list?

231
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,640
Dad, the photographer from the newspaper's here.
We gotta hurry.

232
00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:32,400
A chicken truck tipped over
on the interstate.

233
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,640
- Put more spit on my cowlick
so I look more mayor-like.
- "Mayoral."

234
00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:38,040
- Kay, please. That's three corrections today.
- You're doing interviews.

235
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,200
- This is not your time to shine.
This is my time to shine.
- Mayoral.

236
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,640
- I know you're sensitive.
- It's my time to shine.

237
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,240
- Mayor-like. Mayor-like.
- Dad. Dad, look.

238
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,880
- What?
- I've changed. All right? Just let me stay.

239
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:51,320
- I won't embarrass you.
- What do you think you're doing right now, huh?

240
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,840
[Man]
Keep up the good work.

241
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:57,200
Here you go, fella.
I always like to help the homeless.

242
00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:59,240
Don't spend it on booze!

243
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:02,160
- Dad.
- Move along, hobo.

244
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,880
[Earl Narrating] Unfortunately,
things were still bad between my dad and I...

245
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:08,640
and they were about to get worse.

246
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,600
- Dad's gonna lose.
- What?

247
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:15,920
"Poll shows Carl Hickey is down
by 2,000 votes among all registered voters."

248
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,640
See, he's gonna lose again,
and blame me for getting him into it.

249
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:22,760
- What are registered voters?
- People who sign up to vote, I guess.

250
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:26,520
- You and me should sign up.
- He's down by more than two votes.

251
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:30,200
- Can I register to vote?
- He's down by more than three votes, Catalina.

252
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,160
- Wait a second.
- [Earl Narrating] And then it hit me.

253
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:38,160
There must be a ton of people who could vote
for my dad, but just aren't registered.

254
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,280
A whole untapped market
of uncaring, unregistered...

255
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,360
- and even unconscious voters out there.
- [ Snoring ]

256
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:48,560
And I, Earl Hickey,
could reach 'em.

257
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:51,480
Poor people.
Uneducated people.

258
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:55,480
Undesirable people.
People like me.

259
00:14:55,640 --> 00:15:00,360
After almost no training,
I became an official voter registrar.

260
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:06,280
Registering new voters was fun.

261
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:10,160
Jasmine. Savannah. I'd like to talk
to you ladies about another kind of "pole."

262
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,320
- Felony or misdemeanor?
- Misdemeanor.

263
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,920
Great. Can we talk?

264
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,840
If you register to vote,
you'll finally have a voice.

265
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:24,840
[ Synthesized Voice ]
Sign me up.

266
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:30,920
Fine, I'll sign up to vote
if you take me to pick up the Subaru.

267
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:32,840
Squirrels moved in
and chewed up the wires again.

268
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,400
- No problem.
- All right.

269
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,360
Come on, Darnell.
You can sign up too.

270
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,320
I'm already registered to vote.

271
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,320
- What?
- Not that it matters.

272
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,520
Because until we reform
the electoral college...

273
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,120
the popular votes will be ignored,
and we'll keep electing presidents...

274
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:48,040
that only get
a minority of the vote.

275
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:53,080
That must be some black stuff.
I don't know what he's talking about.

276
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,360
Hey. How many of these things
did you fill out?

277
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:05,080
Hopefully enough for my dad
to win the election.

278
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:07,760
Hey, Randy.
Take these, will you?

279
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:09,840
[ Earl ]
Hold on to those, Randy.

280
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:22,680
[ Siren Wailing ]

281
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,000
Sir, I need you
to get back in your vehicle.

282
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,400
No, no. I gotta pick up these sign-up slips.
My dad's runnin'-

283
00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:31,560
I need you to get back
in your vehicle now.

284
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,960
Oh, my God.

285
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:43,880
[ Man ] How can Carl Hickey raise
our standard of living...

286
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,360
when he can't even raise
his own son?

287
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,560
Paid for by Marty Park for mayor.

288
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,960
[Airplane Passing Overhead]

289
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:56,160
[Earl Narrating] Once again,
thanks to me, Dad lost in a landslide.

290
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,560
Yep, well, I crushed some allergy medicine
in his lemonade...

291
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:00,960
but he's still all fired up.

292
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:03,880
Oh, I'm sorry.
I forgot who I was calling.

293
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:09,680
We'll take, uh, a large pepperoni,
and throw in some garlic knots.

294
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:13,160
That might cheer him up.
Oh.

295
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:32,240
Dad?

296
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,720
Randy had all the papers
in the back of the El Camino.

297
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,680
They-They just blew out everywhere.
It's not my fault.

298
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:50,840
And I was just trying to pick 'em all up
so you could win the election.

299
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:53,520
If you'll just sit down with me
and look at my list.

300
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,720
See what I've done so far.
Please?

301
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:59,360
Dad, uh, I'm trying
to be a good person.

302
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,760
I-I know I've messed up in the past,
but I've changed.

303
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,760
I promise.

304
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,840
I expect you to pay me back
that bail money.

305
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,480
[DoorCloses, Engine Starts]

306
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,720
- He bailed me out.
- What?

307
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,800
He hasn't bailed me out
in over six years.

308
00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:29,800
He's comin' around, Randy.
He's comin' around.

309
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,720
[Earl Narrating] I was foolish to think
I could win back my father's respect...

310
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:34,720
by simply winning him
the election.

311
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,360
I've spent my whole life
causing him nothing but grief...

312
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:41,440
and it's gonna take some time
before he believes that I've really changed.

313
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,880
I just have to keep doing
what I'm doing and maybe one day...

314
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,880
I cross enough things off my list,
Dad'll be proud of me.

315
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,600
You know, I ran into John Sheppard
down the street.

316
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:56,720
He said Earl came by and paid for a window
he broke 15 years ago.

317
00:18:56,840 --> 00:19:00,240
- Really?
- Yep.

318
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:02,440
[Airplane Passing Overhead]

319
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:06,080
I got it.

320
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,360
- Hey, Earl?
- Yeah, Randy?

321
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:26,120
If you could be any kind of animal
in the whole world...

322
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,840
what animal would you be?

323
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,280
A dog.
I think I'd be a dog.

324
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:35,120
- How come?
- 'Cause I like living inside and sitting on couches.

325
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,880
Most people let their dogs
live inside and sit on couches.

326
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:42,640
How about a cat? People let their cats
live inside and sit on couches.

327
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:46,000
I'm allergic to cats. I wouldn't wanna
go around making myself sneeze.

328
00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:47,960
Yeah.

329
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:52,000
Why, what kind of animal would you be
if you could be any animal in the whole world?

330
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:56,080
I was gonna say monkey,
but you make a good point about the couch.

331
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,840
- Good night.
- Good night.


998
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:17,800
Montaje: PiLLaO y Jesuscas
Subtítulos: dahhny

999
00:20:19,491 --> 00:20:23,800
.: tusseries & subXpacio :.