1
00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:04,400
My name is Earl.

2
00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:09,200
[Earl Narrating] The local Bargain Bag
was known for its bad customer service...

3
00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:11,120
but we couldn't
really blame them for that.

4
00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,120
As a matter off act,
they could blame us...

5
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:17,040
and that's why we were here,
to make up for number 24 on my list-

6
00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:19,240
stole a red take-a-number machine.

7
00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,680
I wanna thank you for including us
on this list item, Earl.

8
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:26,080
I appreciate any opportunity
to repent for my sinful days.

9
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:29,640
- Oh! I want Jesus to see this.
- Is that who that is?

10
00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:31,240
- Uh-huh.
- I saw him peeking out.

11
00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:33,160
- Thought it was Willie Nelson.
- Next!

12
00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:38,480
Good-bye, little fella.
We never even gave you a name.

13
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:42,440
Earl! You can't give back
that ticket thing.

14
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,000
Randy, we talked about this.
I have to. It's on my list.

15
00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:46,680
- You can't.
- Randy.

16
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,400
It's not your turn.

17
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,360
Oh, snap.

18
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:55,720
[Earl Narrating] I understood why Randy
didn't wanna part with that ticket machine.

19
00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,720
It meant a lot to him.
It meant a lot to all ofus.

20
00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:00,960
It was Christmas 1999...

21
00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:04,080
and I had met and married
Joy only three weeks earlier.

22
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,040
Since it was our first
holiday together...

23
00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,360
I wanted to include her in
our gang's yuletide traditions.

24
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,280
Hey, everyone! It's carolers!

25
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:26,120
While Donny, Randy
and Joy spread good tidings...

26
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,120
I snuck in and robbed the place.

27
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,280
Are you Santa?

28
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:49,320
- Oh, ho-ho.
- Why are you taking all our presents?

29
00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:56,000
Well, I think if you thought hard enough,
you'd know the answer to that.

30
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:59,240
Now off to bed or there won't
be a Christmas next year either.

31
00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,520
[Earl Narrating]
Don't worry. She's on mylist.

32
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,520
If this is another damn thesaurus...

33
00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:15,800
I'm gonna track down
those dumb, stupid... dumb people...

34
00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:17,760
and teach them how
to buy a proper gift.

35
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:25,520
Cool, it's one of them checker sets,
but for smart people and gays.

36
00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:28,040
- Here you go.
- Who are you?

37
00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:30,160
Darnell. I'm new.

38
00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,640
[Earl Narrating]A few weeks earlier,
Darnell's life took a dramatic turn...

39
00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,600
and he had to relocate
to Camden County.

40
00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:41,280
As soon as you get out of this van,
you become Darnell Turner.

41
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,440
All the documents you need-
birth certificate, driver's license, etc.-

42
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,400
are in this envelope.

43
00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:48,600
Cool.

44
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:53,840
Remember, you can never be Harry Monroe
again. You're a totally new person.

45
00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:59,000
- Do I still like cheese?
- Not if you wanna stay alive you don't.

46
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:10,080
[Earl Narrating] The more we hung out with
Darnell, the more we learned how smart he was.

47
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,360
Why is it called "Y2K"?

48
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,240
It means "2000" in computer,
and in a few days, when it turns 2000...

49
00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,600
all the computers are gonna
think it's really Year Zero.

50
00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:21,080
- The hell does that mean?
- All the computers will go
berserk and things like...

51
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,480
electricity, water, gas will be out.

52
00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,080
The banks will be outta money.
Stores will be outta food.

53
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:29,160
All the high scores
on video games will be reset.

54
00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,080
- Even "Centipede"?
- Mm-hmm.

55
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:34,080
That's messed up, y'all.
What the hell's gonna happen to us?

56
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:37,760
Well, we'll either be killed at the hands
of hungry citizens or die of starvation.

57
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:41,200
- Dowe get to choose?
- Wh-Wh-What are we gonna do?

58
00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,520
We should do somethin', right?
I mean, we gotta do somethin'.

59
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,880
Well, the best thing to do is just hole up
somewhere and wait to see what happens.

60
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,120
We can use my sister's basement.
She's off with another trucker.

61
00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:53,440
And does she go off
with a lot of truckers?

62
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:56,480
My sister falls in love easy,
if that's what you're askin'.

63
00:03:56,600 --> 00:04:00,840
[Earl Narrating] As we all tried to figure out
how the hell we were gonna survive Y2K...

64
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:03,120
we weren't the only people
preparing for an uncertain future.

65
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:06,880
[ Braying ]

66
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:10,840
As it turns out, our good friend Catalina
was a world away...

67
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,960
preparing to make
her journey to America.

68
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:15,600
Toma.

69
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,800
[ Speaking Spanish ]

70
00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,200
[ Earl Narrating ]
In the days leading up
to Y2K...

71
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,840
we decided to stock up
on survival supplies.

72
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:33,920
And we weren't the only ones.

73
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:45,360
Randy, I told you no robot dogs.

74
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:47,520
We can only afford
the things we need to survive.

75
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:50,920
But I already filled out the adoption papers.
I named him "Biscuit."

76
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,320
Put it back, Randy.

77
00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:56,240
- Hey, Earl.
- Hey...

78
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,600
Crab Man.

79
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,720
Wow. You really like cheese.

80
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:07,200
Shh.

81
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,080
I'm gonna have to see
a receipt and pat you down.

82
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,120
Does that mean I'm gonna
have to take my boots off?

83
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:21,600
- Probably.
- The hell's goin' on?

84
00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:24,520
Sorry, honey. Now that we're married,
you're gonna have to get used to this.

85
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,520
For some reason, people tend to think
me and Randy are criminals.

86
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,880
I understand, baby.
Everywhere I go I get dirty looks too.

87
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:34,080
- So do I.
- Me too, and it sucks
because we're good people.

88
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:36,400
Mm-hmm.

89
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,600
You know, it's crazy. They're so
worried about us stealing stuff.

90
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,800
The whole store
gonna get looted during Y2K.

91
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,200
- Wait a minute. There's gonna be lootin'?
- Mm-hmm.

92
00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:50,000
Then why the hell
did we just buy all this stuff?

93
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,560
I'm gonna return mine
and steal it tomorrow.

94
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:58,280
Can I loot too, Earl?
There's just so much I wanna take.

95
00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:02,440
And, plus, I'm still a little bit
upset about that Larry King verdict.

96
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,280
You know what I'm gonna loot first?
I'm gonna loot me a Humvee.

97
00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:08,160
Then I'm gonna take all the other stuff
I loot and put it in my Humvee.

98
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:11,480
And if somebody tries to stop me,
I'm gonna drive over 'em in my Humvee.

99
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,560
And I also want
a new pair of sandals.

100
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:15,560
Hey, Darnell, if all
the computers break...

101
00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,800
does that mean we won't
have criminal records anymore?

102
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:21,760
Yep. It'll be cool. Your whole slate's
gonna be wiped clean.

103
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:25,120
- I'd like a clean slate. Mine's filthy.
- Mine too.

104
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,600
Oh, my God! We're missin' it.

105
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,280
- Ten-
- [All] Nine, eight-

106
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,640
You know, this Y2K
thing can be good for us.

107
00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:36,680
- The whole deck's gonna be reshuffled.
- Maybe we won't be on the bottom.

108
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,640
[All]
Three, two...

109
00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:41,160
- one!
- [ Blowing Horns ]

110
00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:43,440
[Electrical Pop, Whirring]

111
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,840
[ Tape: Distorted  Audio ]

112
00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,400
[ Whispers ]
It's happening.

113
00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:53,200
[Earl Narrating] What we didn't know then
was that Donny Jones's sister...

114
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,200
Liked to screw two things:

115
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:57,520
truckers and the electric company.

116
00:06:57,640 --> 00:07:00,560
Come on, guys! Let's do this!

117
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:03,520
The Year Zero is gonna be ours.

118
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:07,560
- [ Explosion ]
- That's probably the power plant.

119
00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:10,880
- [Rapid Explosions ]
- Sounds like machine-gun fire.

120
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:13,200
[Earl Narrating] What we didn't know
was that every year...

121
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,560
Camden County had
a New Year's fireworks show.

122
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,640
We'd never seen it because we were
usually passed out by 9:00.

123
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,400
- Y'all, that sounds like grenades.
- Grenades?

124
00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:24,480
The other looters have grenades?
I only have this bat.

125
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,680
I could hit a grenade with the bat,
but only ifyou put it on a tee.

126
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:31,240
Maybe we should loot in the mornin'.

127
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:35,680
[Earl Narrating] Once the sun came up
and the other looters ran out of grenades...

128
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:39,040
we were excited to finally get our chance
to steal everything we ever dreamed of.

129
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:04,080
Where is everybody? We've gone 10 blocks
and haven't seen a soul.

130
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,360
Maybe they're hiding.

131
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:10,120
Marco! Marco!

132
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:14,400
We're not in the damn pool, you idiot.
Olly, Olly, oxen free!

133
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:23,000
I'm gettin' a little buggy here.

134
00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:27,280
Maybe Randy was right. Maybe the computers
did rise up and kill everybody.

135
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,800
- I think you're right.
- Where are the bodies?

136
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,480
The computers are
using them for fuel.

137
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,760
- Hey, wait!
- [ Earl ] Hurry up!

138
00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,880
[Earl Narrating]
Realizing we might be...

139
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:53,160
the only people left on Earth
in Year Zero freaked us out.

140
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,800
What we didn't know was there was
a reason why the streets were so empty.

141
00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:58,920
[ Cheering ]

142
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,920
We were always so drunk
from the night before...

143
00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:07,920
we were never awake to know
there was a parade on New Year's Day.

144
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,440
Well, I guess that's it.

145
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:14,360
I guess the world's over.

146
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:17,640
I 'm so angry at computers right now.

147
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,440
Well, if the world's over...

148
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:23,200
I guess we're gonna
have to start a new one.

149
00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,640
Any ideas on how to do that,
because it sounds complicated.

150
00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:30,200
Well, I think we need to make sure
that the new human race...

151
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,400
is made up of people
of all different colors.

152
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,880
You know, by stirrin' up
the meltin' pot.

153
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,240
- I call "president".
- Yeah, me too. I call "president" too.

154
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,800
- We can't have two presidents.
- Says who?

155
00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,280
Says me and I-I'm the president.

156
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:47,320
- One of them.
- Guys, we're not gonna have a president.

157
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,360
- But if we were, I'd be the president.
- Don't talk to me.

158
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:53,280
[Earl Narrating] While we were tryin'
to figure out the rest of our lives...

159
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,240
Catalina was runnin'for hers.

160
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:59,640
- [ Shouting ]
- [ Gunshots ]

161
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,840
[ Speaking Spanish ]

162
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:07,680
As bummed out as we were
about Y2K ending the world...

163
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,720
we were also excited to go shopping.

164
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:18,600
Being the last people
on Earth had its advantages.

165
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:21,480
There was no one at the register,
so everything was in our price range.

166
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:23,440
Plus, there was no other
shoppers grabbin 'stuff...

167
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:25,360
out of our carts
when we weren't lookin'.

168
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,960
- You guys ready to get out of here?
- Not me. I'm staying forever.

169
00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:44,000
You're gonna live in the store?
Earl, he's gonna live in the store.

170
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:46,800
- I can live wherever I want.
- Yeah. We rule the world now.

171
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,560
I may move to Florida if Y2K hasn't
snapped it off in the ocean.

172
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:51,880
Earl, can we live in the store too, please?
Can we?

173
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,960
I guess. It is
bigger than the trailer...

174
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:56,880
and we wouldn't have to
load this crap in the car.

175
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,400
- Okay. I claim the TV section.
- Oh, hold on. You can't do that.

176
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:03,560
What are you gonna do, call the police?
They're dead. I can do whatever I want...

177
00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:07,000
- and I claim this section.
- Why the hell's it your section
and not my section?

178
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,480
"A," because you're pregnant
and can't fight...

179
00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:12,200
and, "B," because I got here first.

180
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:14,160
[Earl Narrating]
Suddenly, we all realized...

181
00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:16,280
if there was somethin'
we wanted for our own...

182
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,080
we had to be the first one
to get there.

183
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:23,960
- [ Grunting ]
- [ Clattering ]

184
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:32,520
So we all claimed
our piece of paradise.

185
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:37,440
Joy took the beauty products
and pharmacy aisle.

186
00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:40,960
- [ Air Hissing ]
- Help! Help! The machine's got me! Y2K! Y2K!

187
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:45,600
- [ Beeping ]
- Never mind. I scared it. It let go.

188
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:50,720
[Earl Narrating]
Darnell seemed happy in his section.

189
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,480
Oh, I get it.
My finger's his wiener.

190
00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:05,160
And I found a section that was my own
little slice of heaven.

191
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:14,280
Everyone started out pretty happy
with our little arrangement...

192
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:17,600
but eventually, people began to have needs
outside their aisles.

193
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:19,880
- Hey, baby.
- Oh! Hey, hubby!

194
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:23,640
Hey, look on the back of that box and tell me
how long to keep these bleach trays in.

195
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:26,920
Joy, it says you're not supposed
to use these if you're pregnant.

196
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,920
Says the stupid government-
which is dead.

197
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,880
There's no more rules anymore, Earl.

198
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:34,480
I could put the stuffin my eyes if I wanted to-
make the white parts whiter.

199
00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:38,680
- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What are you doin'?
- My stomach hurts.

200
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,760
I think I ate too many
cookie insides.

201
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,120
You can't just come in
and take my stuff without askin'.

202
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,000
- But we're married. It's our stuff.
- I don't think so.

203
00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:47,960
I'm a separate accounts
kind of woman.

204
00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:50,320
If you want something, you're gonna
have to give me something for it.

205
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:54,280
You want three bags of slightly licked
outsides of cookies?

206
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,360
I want a TV.

207
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:58,800
How am I supposed to get you
a TV? I live in Snack Foods.

208
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:00,840
Figure it out.

209
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,680
- Hey, Donny, what can I trade you for a TV?
- Give me your wife.

210
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,400
I'm not givin' you my wife.
Pick a snack food.

211
00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:21,680
Marshmallow Fluff-
smeared on your wife.

212
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,200
- Donny.
- Okay.

213
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:28,040
I'll give you a TV,
but you gotta owe me one favor-

214
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,120
and I get to ask for that
favor anytime I want...

215
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:33,920
and you can't say "no" and you can't ask
what the favor's gonna be.

216
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,080
Is the favor givin'you my wife?

217
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,080
- Yep.
- Forget it.

218
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,200
[Earl Narrating] While Donny Jones
was hard to negotiate with...

219
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,120
he was easy to fool.

220
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:03,240
Oh, so there's crime now.
[ Laughs ]

221
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,160
[ Machinery Popping ]

222
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,840
- What the hell are you doin'?
- You took my TV!

223
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,840
I saw it on TV.

224
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,800
I know we can go and fish and hunt.

225
00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:22,600
Who's my good dog?
Who's my good boy? You are.

226
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:24,360
- [ Barks ]
- [ Screams ]

227
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:28,040
- Yeah, I took one. But you got 16 left.
- Thief!.

228
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:33,040
- What the hell is goin' on?
- Shut up! You belong to me now.

229
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:36,400
You're not gettin' my wife, Donny.

230
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:40,080
Earl!

231
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,920
Ow! Donny!

232
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,840
Earl?
[ Groans ]

233
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,560
Oh, snap! You killed
your own brother!

234
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:55,760
I claim the toy section!

235
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,880
[Earl Narrating]
Things had gotten out of control...

236
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:06,360
and it was gonna take a lot more than frozen
peas to fix the problems in our new world.

237
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,840
What the hell's the matter with us?
How can we start a whole new world...

238
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,840
if we can't even get
through a day without...

239
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,960
having a tennis ball
and pumpkin pie filling war.

240
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:18,000
It's 'cause we ain't got no damn rules.
We need to figure a way to settle this fightin'.

241
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,720
I know. We institute
a scalpin' policy.

242
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,840
Whenever two people argue,
they both get scalped.

243
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:27,640
Randy, where are you goin'?
We're makin' important decisions here.

244
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:30,440
- Randy, I'm talkin' to you.
- I say we scalp him.

245
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,920
- We're not scalpin' him.
- We could cut off his ear.

246
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,680
You know what? Maybe buildin'
a new world's too much.

247
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,600
We're just a bunch
of low-life criminals.

248
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:39,320
No wonder everybody
gives us dirty looks all the time.

249
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,400
We don't have to argue anymore.
We can use this.

250
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:44,040
- The hell is that?
- It's a take-a-number thingy.

251
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,360
Ooh! Like they have
at the free clinic.

252
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:51,720
We just take a number. When we have
to make a decision, the next number decides.

253
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,640
That way there won't be
wars in our new world.

254
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:56,200
[Earl Narrating]
Funny thing. It took a smack to the head...

255
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,200
to finally knock
some sense into one of us.

256
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:05,680
While Randy was helping us
get to a better place...

257
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:08,920
a guy named Pablo was helping
Catalina do the same thing.

258
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,720
License and registration.

259
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:28,480
Right away we knew we were onto
something with the take-a-number machine.

260
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:31,480
Whenever we would disagree,
we went straight to the numbers.

261
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,680
Whoever had the lowest number
got their way.

262
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:53,280
The number thingy
really helped us get along.

263
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:02,200
We stopped arguin'
and started havin' fun.

264
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,520
Our new society
was really comin' together.

265
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,880
We were the best we'd ever been.

266
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:15,320
- To us.
- [ All ] To us!

267
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,360
And to Randy.

268
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,480
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

269
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,600
Good job finding that "pull-a-piece-of-paper-
with-a-number-printed-on-it...

270
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,920
out-of-the-big-red-plastic-thingy."

271
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,840
You know what kind
of thinkin' that was?

272
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:28,880
The kind of thinkin'
a president does.

273
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,600
- But we don't have any presidents.
- Well, maybe we need one.

274
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,920
All in favor of Randy
bein' president-

275
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,880
President.

276
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,240
That means I'm on top.

277
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,360
[Earl Narrating]
By bed time, we were exhausted...

278
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,360
but mostly, we were proud.

279
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,440
Thanks to Randy's ticket machine...

280
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,560
we had done good on our
first day of runnin' the world.

281
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:52,800
If people were still alive
to see us...

282
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,480
they sure wouldn't have been givin' us
dirty looks that night.

283
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:58,400
- Hey, Mr. President.
- [ Randy] Yeah, Earl?

284
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,520
How's it feel to be on top?

285
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,920
I don't like it. It's too high up here.
Will you switch with me?

286
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,560
Sure, Randy.

287
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,720
So, we all went to sleep...

288
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,680
proud of ourselves and looking forward
to what the next day would bring.

289
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,960
[ Chattering]

290
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,960
Biscuit!

291
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:25,560
[ Earl Narrating] But, unfortunately,
the next day brought shoppers...

292
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:29,720
ready to take advantage
of Bargain Bag's January 2 Sale.

293
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:33,280
Turns out the world
wasn't over like we thought.

294
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:36,160
The deck wasn't reshuffled
and we were still on the bottom.

295
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,080
Nothin' had changed at all.

296
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:54,200
Unfortunately,
our new world was over...

297
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,520
but a new world was just
beginning for Catalina...

298
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,600
who finally made it to America.

299
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:02,320
[ Speaking Spanish ]

300
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,280
- Dibs.
- What?

301
00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:08,240
Aw, it doesn't matter. She's gone.

302
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:12,000
[ Earl Narrating]
So, six years later...

303
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,280
Bargain Bag still needed
their take-a-number machine...

304
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:17,200
and no matter how Randy felt,
I still needed to give it back to 'em.

305
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,200
It's my turn, Earl. I get to choose.

306
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,320
Randy, look. That number machine
means something to all of us...

307
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:25,120
but if we keep it, then we're just crooks
who stole a number machine.

308
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:28,240
- That's not what that day was about.
- But we were on top.

309
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:30,880
- I liked bein' on top.
- Don't worry, Randy.

310
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,200
If we just keep doin'
the things on my list...

311
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:36,240
we'll be back on top
before you know it.

312
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,520
[Earl Narrating] And even though
we're still looked down upon today...

313
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,840
I'm confident that,
one day, we won't be.

314
00:19:57,920 --> 00:20:02,000
One day we will be seen as the perfect
people we were on that one perfect day.

315
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,520
Ma'am.

316
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:11,080
[ Earl Narrating ] Of course, for some of us,
that might take till "Y3K. "

998
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:16,800
Montaje: PiLLaO y Redención
Subtítulos: dahhny

999
00:20:18,491 --> 00:20:23,800
.: tusseries & subXpacio :.