1
00:00:02,035 --> 00:00:06,028
[Earl Narrating] One thing about cold nights
at the motel, Randy and I slept like babies.

2
00:00:06,139 --> 00:00:09,233
- But that wasn't just because of the temperature.
- Gas leak. Get up.

3
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:12,140
- You're all being poisoned.
- Five more minutes.

4
00:00:12,245 --> 00:00:15,078
- Five minutes, you'll be dead.
- Four more minutes?

5
00:00:17,150 --> 00:00:19,050
[ Groans ]

6
00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:23,445
Man, it's freezin' in here.

7
00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:27,515
Put on your coat before you get a runny nose
and ruin all your long sleeves again.

8
00:00:27,627 --> 00:00:30,596
[Earl Narrating] One good thing about the cold
is finding things in your coat pockets...

9
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:33,131
you forgot you put there a year ago.

10
00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:36,327
Hey, look! It's Mr. Fishy.
That's where he was.

11
00:00:39,572 --> 00:00:42,598
Guess you were right, Earl.
I 'm not ready for a pet.

12
00:00:45,311 --> 00:00:47,279
Man, I remember this.

13
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:49,280
[Earl Narrating]
Number 202 on mylist-

14
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:52,180
stole a wallet from a guy
at a gas station.

15
00:00:52,285 --> 00:00:55,413
A few years ago, I was hanging out
in a gas station bathroom...

16
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:58,889
waitin'for some guy to drop his pants
and provide me with an opportunity.

17
00:01:00,026 --> 00:01:02,586
[ Door Closes, Lock Slides ]

18
00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:19,568
Whoo-hoo!

19
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:25,581
Ah, they have my favorite brand
of toi let paper in here.

20
00:01:25,685 --> 00:01:28,745
Soft stuff.

21
00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:32,120
You know the kind of guy
who does nothing but bad things...

22
00:01:32,225 --> 00:01:34,159
and then wonders why
his life sucks?

23
00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:38,497
Well, that was me. Every time
somethin'good happened to me...

24
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:41,066
somethin' bad was always waitin'
around the corner.

25
00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:44,533
Karma.

26
00:01:44,637 --> 00:01:46,935
That's when I realized
I had to change.

27
00:01:48,374 --> 00:01:50,842
So I made a list
of everything bad I've ever done...

28
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:53,913
and, one by one,
I'm gonna make up for all my mistakes.

29
00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:55,981
I'm just tryin' to be
a better person.

30
00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:58,642
My name is Earl.

31
00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:08,927
[ Earl Narrating ]
I had stolen a lot of wallets in my day...

32
00:02:09,028 --> 00:02:11,656
- but that one was the mother lode.
- Whoo-hoo!

33
00:02:11,764 --> 00:02:16,633
So, that afternoon, we took the money
to Jasper's for a little shopping spree.

34
00:02:16,736 --> 00:02:19,603
Jasper's is kind of like the mall,
only it's in a storage unit...

35
00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:22,641
and everything there
is stolen from the mall.

36
00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:26,075
And with a thousand dollars to spend,
we were living like kings.

37
00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:28,079
Hey, we're out of lime mix...

38
00:02:28,181 --> 00:02:32,880
so these margaritas are gonna have
to be cola flavored or extreme cherry.

39
00:02:37,056 --> 00:02:41,322
Why can't you just give him back his wallet
with a thousand dollars of your lottery money?

40
00:02:41,427 --> 00:02:44,055
I like my helmet.
It reminds me of kindergarten.

41
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,132
This stuff was bought
with stolen money.

42
00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:50,134
It's got bad karma all over it.
It all has to go back.

43
00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:53,205
[Earl Narrating] Unfortunately, when I
tracked down the slushy machine...

44
00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:55,206
I found someone had moved in.

45
00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:58,402
Yeah, I got it set up like a turtle house,
with a turtle and what not.

46
00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,843
Does he use that exercise wheel?

47
00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:03,472
- Not as much as I hoped he would.
- Does he do any tricks?

48
00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:06,484
If you yawn a lot,
sometimes he copies you.

49
00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:10,479
[ Yawning ]

50
00:03:15,161 --> 00:03:19,325
I hate to take your buddy's home away,
but I really have to.

51
00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:23,425
Oh, it's okay, Earl.
I think he needs more space anyway.

52
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:26,437
Here. I'll just let him go free range on
the carpet. Hey, Mr. Turtle.

53
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:29,372
That thing starts beggin' at the table,
it's gonna become an outside turtle.

54
00:03:29,475 --> 00:03:33,809
You ever try to stick your finger inside
to see what's under the shell?

55
00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:36,381
Yeah. H-He don't like it.

56
00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:41,620
This stuff isn't stolen, is it?

57
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,916
- Of course it is. We bought it here.
- Yeah.

58
00:03:44,023 --> 00:03:47,720
- When'd you get a computer?
- About a month ago. I take orders online now.

59
00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:50,921
I steal a Wi-Fi signal from that
apartment building across the street.

60
00:03:51,030 --> 00:03:52,930
- You been online?
- No.

61
00:03:53,032 --> 00:03:56,399
Oh, it's wild. Wild!
That's where I got my Russian bride.

62
00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:58,402
[ Chuckling ]

63
00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:03,574
[ Russian Accent ]
Shut the sheet.

64
00:04:03,676 --> 00:04:06,110
Light is putting glare on Montel.

65
00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:10,945
- Cool. Hey, say, "Moose and squirrel."
- Moose and squirrel.

66
00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:14,213
- Yup. That's how I thought she'd say it.
- Not bad, huh?

67
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,754
You get free shipping
if they're over 30.

68
00:04:16,856 --> 00:04:19,620
He write an e-mail
he live in gated community.

69
00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:23,287
My crate on boat was bigger than this.

70
00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:28,060
Where do you live, big boy? You have shower?
You want wife? [ Kissing ]

71
00:04:28,167 --> 00:04:31,295
- Earl?
- Okay, baby. That's enough.

72
00:04:31,404 --> 00:04:33,429
She likes to flirt with people.

73
00:04:33,539 --> 00:04:37,600
But at the end of the day,
she's all mine.

74
00:04:37,710 --> 00:04:40,941
No kiss on lips!
[ Disgusted Sigh ]

75
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:44,950
- [ Curtain Closes ]
- Yeah.

76
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:47,019
[Earl Narrating]
Now that we had the money...

77
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,283
it was time to cross
that stolen wallet off the list.

78
00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:52,824
My wallet. That's amazing.
Where'd you find it?

79
00:04:52,925 --> 00:04:57,521
Well, uh, I found it at a gas station...

80
00:04:57,630 --> 00:05:00,861
in a bathroom, in a pair of pants...

81
00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:04,667
around your ankles.

82
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:07,939
You stole it?

83
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:10,669
You're a crook!

84
00:05:10,777 --> 00:05:12,972
What is that, Earl? What is it?

85
00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:16,139
-Jeff, call the cops!
- No, no, no, no. Don't. Please, don't call the cops.

86
00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:18,274
I-I'm trying to make this up to you.

87
00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:20,852
I'm no longer a crook.
I've turned my life around.

88
00:05:20,953 --> 00:05:23,854
Oh, it's cool, Earl.
They won't call. I cut the cord.

89
00:05:23,956 --> 00:05:26,186
- Randy!
- We're gonna die.

90
00:05:26,292 --> 00:05:28,419
No, no, no, no, no, no!
I'm so- Look.

91
00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:31,190
You're not gonna die. I'm sorry.
I'll make up for that too.

92
00:05:31,297 --> 00:05:34,323
Just please listen to me.
Randy, fix the phone cord.

93
00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:37,892
- But, Earl, theywere gonna
call the cops, and then we-
- Fix the phone cord.

94
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:40,302
[ Groans ]

95
00:05:40,406 --> 00:05:42,840
[Earl Narrating] It took a while,
but eventually I calmed them down...

96
00:05:42,942 --> 00:05:48,209
and explained to 'em how my life is now guided
by karma and how I wanted to do good things.

97
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:51,181
- Phone works again.
- We appreciate how you're changing your life.

98
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:55,243
But you stole the money from our wedding, man.
That was our honeymoon money.

99
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,323
- Yeah, you stole our honeymoon.
- [ Grunts ]

100
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:01,427
Ran-What did you do that for?

101
00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:04,462
I thought they were gettin' mad again.

102
00:06:04,564 --> 00:06:08,000
Just fix it. You were saying?

103
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:11,070
We were filling up and heading
to the beach for our honeymoon...

104
00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:13,866
but after you took all our money,
we had to come home.

105
00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:16,032
Look, I-I'm sorry. I-I really am.

106
00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:19,441
But I've replaced the money, so why
don't you just have a do-over honeymoon?

107
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:23,504
Oh, can we, Jeff? I really want
my honeymoon in the sun. You promised.

108
00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:26,608
Look, even if my boss will give me
a week off, which I doubt...

109
00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:28,687
I can't afford to miss a week's pay.

110
00:06:30,423 --> 00:06:32,391
What if I cover for you?

111
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:35,928
I could work for you, and at the end of the week,
you keep the paycheck.

112
00:06:36,028 --> 00:06:39,464
You think your boss will go for that?

113
00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:41,533
I guess we could ask him.

114
00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:44,330
[Earl Narrating]
With Jeffon board, all I had to do...

115
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:46,962
was convince his boss
to let me fill in for him at work.

116
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:51,268
- You speak English?
- Yep, and I'm a quick learner.

117
00:06:51,377 --> 00:06:53,641
Got all your fingers?

118
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:56,442
Do they bend?
I've been fooled before.

119
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,780
All right. You're hired.

120
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:03,447
[Liquid Boiling]

121
00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:06,889
Mr. Patrick's real particular
about his fries.

122
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:08,961
- Real particu-
- [ Splashes ]

123
00:07:10,229 --> 00:07:13,756
Oh, God. Oh, God.
My retainer fell in.

124
00:07:13,866 --> 00:07:16,801
- I-I- I'll get it.
- No.

125
00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:20,737
If he sees you take it out, he'll know
I dropped it in again. Just leave it.

126
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,308
Hey, Marlboro Man.
Why don't you trot on over here?

127
00:07:25,411 --> 00:07:27,936
Are you, uh-
you and E. coli buddies?

128
00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:31,278
Is that the little Asian fella in the back
who does the dishes?

129
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:33,579
No, E. coli, Hickey. Parasites.

130
00:07:33,686 --> 00:07:36,678
You left a little party zone for 'em
right here in the groove.

131
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:40,748
- I- I wiped there.
- Oh, really? Let's see if you didn't miss a spot.

132
00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:44,796
Oh, you did a good job.
You did a really good job.

133
00:07:44,897 --> 00:07:48,856
I would say it's clean enough
to eat off of.

134
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,027
- Why don't you take a bite?
- What?

135
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:55,471
Hey, everybody! Watch Earl eat a french fry
off his well-wiped counter groove.

136
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:57,133
[Earl Narrating]
What Mr. Patrick didn't realize...

137
00:07:57,243 --> 00:08:00,872
is that taking orders from a boss
was never really my strong suit.

138
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:03,540
You stupid idiot!

139
00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:12,648
So, what's it gonna be?

140
00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:16,194
[Earl Narrating] There were about a dozen
things I wanted to do with that french fry...

141
00:08:16,295 --> 00:08:20,356
but that would have cost Jeff his job,
and karma wouldn't like that one bit.

142
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,696
At a boy.

143
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:27,705
You'll catch on.

144
00:08:30,743 --> 00:08:35,339
That's okay. I had to eat a hamburger patty
he wiped on a toilet seat.

145
00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:50,862
You can feel good
about your decision to eat here.

146
00:08:50,963 --> 00:08:53,830
My brother didn't spit in it.
He's into karma and what not.

147
00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:57,460
Hey, Hickey.
What was this doing in the trash?

148
00:08:57,570 --> 00:09:00,164
It was empty.
You said recycling was for morons.

149
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:04,676
Check under the rim. There was six burgers'
worth of mayo you could swab out of there.

150
00:09:04,777 --> 00:09:08,770
Use your head. Now, scrape that out
and go work drive-through.

151
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:11,577
- Will do.
- What a jerk.

152
00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:14,710
- You should report that guy to the manager.
- He is the manager.

153
00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:17,380
Oh. Then he already knows.

154
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:21,392
Look, it's no big deal. I don't let guys
like that bug me anymore, Randy.

155
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:24,361
Karma's given me
a whole new outlook on life.

156
00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:28,297
I've learned it's not my job to punish people
who are mean to me. It's karma's.

157
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:31,393
People like that always get
what they deserve.

158
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:34,132
[Earl Narrating]
I didn't need to worry about Mr. Patrick.

159
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,937
I just needed to worry about keeping this job,
no matter how bad it got.

160
00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:41,275
[ Man On P.A. ]
Four, your order's ready. Four.

161
00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:45,339
[ Gasps ] Oh, my God! Earl Hickey
working as a burger dummy.

162
00:09:45,451 --> 00:09:49,751
Look. I think we're gonna go ahead
and park and come on in.

163
00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:52,824
[ Cackling ]

164
00:09:57,063 --> 00:10:00,931
Well, look at you all dressed up
in that cute uniform.

165
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:04,093
And they even had your size-
extra dorky.

166
00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:07,502
Welcome to Stars. May I take your order?
And your clothes look stupid too.

167
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,734
Hey, Crab Man.
Hey, Crab Man's turtle.

168
00:10:09,842 --> 00:10:12,310
Hey, Earl. That's from both of us.

169
00:10:12,411 --> 00:10:14,470
We'll take two
number-one combos, please.

170
00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:17,048
Can you throw in a piece of lettuce
for Mr. Turtle?

171
00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:19,242
He likes arugula, ifyou got it.

172
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:27,358
- That's 6.44.
- Thank you very much, sir. Have a nice day.

173
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:30,190
Joy, you gave me
a wadded-up Kleenex.

174
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,526
Come on.

175
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,930
Don't go all goody-two-shoes on me.
Hook me up.

176
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:38,435
That's stealing, Joy. I can't do that.

177
00:10:38,537 --> 00:10:40,334
[ Grunts ]
Ow!

178
00:10:40,439 --> 00:10:42,999
Oh, my God!
Is there a manager in the house?

179
00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:45,669
- I just found a piece of hair in my food.
-Joy, stop it.

180
00:10:45,778 --> 00:10:47,769
Is there a problem over here?

181
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:51,145
Oh, there's a problem. A hair fell off
your employee into my french fries.

182
00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,309
I 'm not paying for these.

183
00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:57,856
I am sorry about that, ma'am.
And you should be wearing a hairnet.

184
00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:08,029
Oh, you know what?
This is a short one.

185
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:11,661
Actually, you know what I think?
This is a mustache hair.

186
00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:14,706
Thank you so much.
I feel so much better now.

187
00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:17,298
I think we all feel better.
Do you feel better, Hickey?

188
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,310
Not really.

189
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:22,677
- You want one for your eyebrows?
- I feel fine, sir.

190
00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:26,240
Good. Now I want you to go in the back
and sponge down the baby-changing table.

191
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:29,685
A kid scooted his ass across it
like a dog does.

192
00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:31,157
Go on. Do it.

193
00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:32,351
Go on. Do it.

194
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:35,427
[Earl Narrating]
As hard as it was to stand there and take it...

195
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:39,191
I had to keep reminding myselfwhy I was there
and that karma would take care ofMr. Patrick.

196
00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:45,365
Nice job, Hickey.
Why don't you take a break?

197
00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:48,770
Thank you, sir. I-

198
00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:53,311
Uh-oh. Now those are damaged
and unfit for our valued customers.

199
00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:58,406
Why don't you drive those over to my house,
you know, being you're on break and all?

200
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:06,619
You're taking all those rolls
to Mr. Patrick's house?

201
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:10,355
He goes through a lot of toilet paper
because he's so full of crap!

202
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,363
Yes!

203
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:15,628
Listen, Xena. Try not to get
so worked up by Mr. Patrick.

204
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,635
He'll get his payback.

205
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:20,604
There's a thing in this universe,
an uncontrolled force.

206
00:12:20,706 --> 00:12:22,799
- It's called-
- I love you too, Earl.

207
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:25,570
You'll be my first.

208
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:28,238
No, no, no, no. No.
I was talking about karma.

209
00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:30,907
Oh. Karma.

210
00:12:31,016 --> 00:12:33,314
It, uh, takes care of mean people.

211
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,751
Mr. Patrick
will get everything he deserves.

212
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,720
[ Sighs ]

213
00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:40,620
[Earl Narrating]
But as I drove up to Mr. Patrick's house...

214
00:12:40,726 --> 00:12:44,890
I realized he had waymore
than he deserved.

215
00:12:44,997 --> 00:12:48,626
He had a beautiful house in a beautiful
neighborhood, but that wasn 't all.

216
00:12:48,734 --> 00:12:52,101
Hi! Come on in.

217
00:12:52,204 --> 00:12:54,138
Pat told me you were coming.

218
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:57,209
[Earl Narrating]
He also had a beautiful wife he didn't deserve.

219
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:04,649
Is-Is there any chance
that Mr. Patrick is your brother?

220
00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:08,481
I hope not, not with all the stuff
I let him do to me.

221
00:13:08,587 --> 00:13:10,248
Anyway, wait right here.

222
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:14,520
I'm gonna go get the dry cleaning
Pat said you'd take in.

223
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:17,790
[Earl Narrating] I couldn't believe
Mr. Patrick scored a woman like that...

224
00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:19,797
anda house like this.

225
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:23,494
And, as I took a look around
the rest of the place, it only got worse.

226
00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:28,369
There he was, sitting in the back
ofa brand-new, customized F-250...

227
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:31,307
complete with stenciling.

228
00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:35,176
And how he got so many friends,
I have no idea.

229
00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:40,952
And I couldn 't imagine him
doing anyrhing good enough in life...

230
00:13:41,053 --> 00:13:43,851
to deserve a special mug saying it.

231
00:13:45,257 --> 00:13:47,555
No way.

232
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,493
Oh, sorry. I was just, uh-
[Clears Throat]

233
00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:53,064
Looking at Mr. Patrick's best stuff mugs.

234
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:55,497
Oh. Well, that one's not his.

235
00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:57,831
- Really?
- It's mine.

236
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:01,305
Of course it is.

237
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:04,570
Of course it is.

238
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,577
Here you go.

239
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:15,180
I don't get it, Randy.
It doesn't make sense.

240
00:14:15,287 --> 00:14:18,051
Karma should be kicking the crap
out of a guy like that.

241
00:14:18,157 --> 00:14:20,091
Maybe he's nice outside of work.

242
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,490
- He could deserve good karma that way, right?
- I don't know.

243
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:26,759
Even if he pulled his face off, and underneath
was that guy from U2 that does all that charity...

244
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,834
he still wouldn't deserve a wife that hot.

245
00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:31,425
Maybe he's being punished
in some secret way.

246
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:34,165
I hada horrible uncle
with a hot wife and a big house...

247
00:14:34,273 --> 00:14:38,073
but later we found out that the house
and the wife both had mold in the basement.

248
00:14:39,678 --> 00:14:41,646
Mold in the basement.

249
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:46,949
Well, maybe there's more
to Mr. Patrick that I don't know.

250
00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:49,384
Bono. That's the guy from U2-
Sonny Bono.

251
00:14:49,488 --> 00:14:52,218
I should be on that show where you
have to remember the names of things.

252
00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:54,918
What's it called?

253
00:14:56,862 --> 00:15:00,059
[Earl Narrating] I decided to keep
a much closer eye on Mr. Patrick...

254
00:15:00,165 --> 00:15:03,191
hoping I'd find hidden information
that would make sense of his life.

255
00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:05,964
Maybe I'd discover he was
a better man than I thought.

256
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,140
But he wasn 't.

257
00:15:33,899 --> 00:15:37,198
[ Earl Narrating ] As far as I could tell,
Mr. Patrick never did anyrhing good.

258
00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:41,171
And when he had the chance
to do the right thing, he didn 't.

259
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:45,300
This guy definitely didn 't deserve
all the nice things he had.

260
00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:48,938
He even had a nice little thing
he was cheating on his wife with.

261
00:15:49,048 --> 00:15:53,212
Nope. Mr. Patrick didn 't seem to be
suffering one bit. It just didn't make sense.

262
00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:56,948
He wasn 't gettin 'punished at all
for any of the bad things he was doing.

263
00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:59,024
There was only one place left to look...

264
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:01,251
one place karma could be punishing him.

265
00:16:04,096 --> 00:16:06,564
[ Earl Narrating ]
I didn't want to check there, but I had to.

266
00:16:08,267 --> 00:16:10,827
Come on, man!

267
00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:16,968
Ah, I 'm just having a little trouble
working up a stream.

268
00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:19,442
Try blowin' on it.

269
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:22,139
Excuse me?

270
00:16:22,247 --> 00:16:23,839
[ Blows ]

271
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:28,216
There you go.

272
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:32,146
[ Clears Throat ]
Thank you, sir.

273
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:35,384
[Earl Narrating] I could see that karma
wasn't punishing Mr. Patrick.

274
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:37,962
What I didn't get
was why it was punishing me.

275
00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:41,032
- What do you want-
a snake, an eel or an earthworm?
- I want a dinosaur.

276
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:45,001
- A dinosaur? Here.
- This is not a dinosaur.

277
00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:49,336
Sure, it is. It's a Balloon-osaurus rex.
Now, get out of here.

278
00:16:49,441 --> 00:16:52,239
Hickey! You take these balloons
back from these kids...

279
00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:54,642
and you start making poodles
and funny hats right now.

280
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:57,011
I told you, I don't know how
to make balloon animals.

281
00:16:57,116 --> 00:17:00,517
You don't know how
to make a balloon animal?

282
00:17:00,619 --> 00:17:03,850
Are you telling me that you're too stupid
to understand how to bend a balloon?

283
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:06,117
[Earl Narrating]
It's amazing how humiliated you can feel...

284
00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:08,193
dressed as a hamburger,
being poked by a balloon.

285
00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:11,490
Now, you apologize to these children
right now! See this, kids?

286
00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:13,531
This is why you stay in school.

287
00:17:13,632 --> 00:17:17,159
So you don't end up in a hamburger outfit,
too stupid to bend balloons.

288
00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:19,703
Hickey, I told you to apologize.
What's your problem?

289
00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:21,898
I want you to apologize
to these kids right now.

290
00:17:22,007 --> 00:17:25,534
Are you too stupid
to say you're stupid?

291
00:17:25,644 --> 00:17:28,704
[Earl Narrating] No one has ever treated me
that bad before and gotten away with it...

292
00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:30,213
especially a boss.

293
00:17:30,315 --> 00:17:33,443
But I stuck with karma this long,
so I knew I had to keep my cool.

294
00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:43,790
Unfortunately, knowing something and
doing something are two different things.

295
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,194
[ Grunting ]

296
00:17:46,298 --> 00:17:49,426
Whoa! Take it easy, Xena!
You don't wanna swallow that new retainer.

297
00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:52,595
Oh, God!
Your hands on my body feel so right.

298
00:17:52,704 --> 00:17:54,604
- What?
- Nothing.

299
00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:58,474
[ Grunts ]

300
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:01,444
[Earl Narrating] I felt bad about sending
Mr. Patrick to the emergency room...

301
00:18:01,547 --> 00:18:04,539
but when I found out what I started,
I felt even worse.

302
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,553
Thanks to me, the women
he tried so hard to keep separate-

303
00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:14,955
well, they were finally
brought together.

304
00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:17,494
Seems I hurt more
than just Mr. Patrick's eye.

305
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,091
- World's-
- Hey, come on!

306
00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:23,964
- best-
- Not the mugs!

307
00:18:24,069 --> 00:18:25,969
- son of a bitch!
- Charmaine!

308
00:18:28,907 --> 00:18:32,274
[ Earl Narrating] And while his wife was
kicking him out for seeing another woman...

309
00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:35,938
she found out how he was able
to afford another woman.

310
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:39,609
Turned out law enforcement was
as unhappy about his behavior as she was.

311
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:45,655
I felt awful. I just wanted
to hit the guy, not ruin his life.

312
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:51,262
I wish I could say something
to make you feel better.

313
00:18:51,363 --> 00:18:53,558
I don't know what you can say, Randy.

314
00:18:53,665 --> 00:18:55,633
I started out trying
to do something good...

315
00:18:55,734 --> 00:18:58,202
and ended up getting the guy
divorced and thrown in jail.

316
00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:00,771
I screwed up.
That's all there is to it.

317
00:19:02,374 --> 00:19:04,342
You said karma
would get him eventually.

318
00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:07,810
- I said karma, not my fist.
- But karma doesn't have fists.

319
00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:13,944
You know what? You're right.
Karma doesn't have fists.

320
00:19:14,052 --> 00:19:18,989
Karma doesn't have hands at all, or feet.
Does karma have feet?

321
00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:21,616
Maybe karma's behind
this whole thing, Randy.

322
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:23,922
I mean, the guy finally got
what he deserved.

323
00:19:24,029 --> 00:19:27,624
- Maybe karma just borrowed
my fist to give it to him.
- 'Cause karma doesn't have fists.

324
00:19:28,767 --> 00:19:32,362
Wow. Karma used me
to do its dirty work.

325
00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:35,133
Nice move, karma. Nice move.

326
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,698
[Earl Narrating] As it turned out,
not just to punish a bad guy...

327
00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:41,210
but to reward some good people too.

328
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:44,578
Mrs. Patrick took ownership ofthe restaurant
and made Jeff the manager.

329
00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:57,286
[ Earl Narrating ] And with Jeff
as manager, everybody got raises...

330
00:19:57,396 --> 00:19:59,887
- and health insurance
to cover new retainers for Xena.
- [ Sneezes ]

331
00:20:03,302 --> 00:20:05,770
In the end,
everyone got what they deserved...

332
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:08,271
and I was able
to cross number 202 off my list.

333
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:25,222
Oh. It's a burger.

334
00:20:29,494 --> 00:20:32,122
[ Squeaking ]

335
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:35,667
Hey, Earl.
I saw that mouse again.

336
00:20:35,767 --> 00:20:38,565
- Want me to try and get him?
- No, I like him.

337
00:20:38,670 --> 00:20:41,138
I was thinking maybe we
should name him, you know?

338
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,731
And that way he'd be our pet
and not just a mouse.

339
00:20:43,842 --> 00:20:47,539
- How 'bout William?
- Nah. I don't like William.

340
00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:49,807
We could call him Bill for short.

341
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:52,383
I never understood how Bill
was short for William.

342
00:20:52,484 --> 00:20:54,753
If anything, Bill should be short
for Billiam, you know?

343
00:20:54,753 --> 00:20:56,880
If anything, Bill should be short
for Billiam, you know?

344
00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:04,094
- Good night, Earl.
- Good night, Randy.

345
00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:06,164
Good night, Billiam.

998
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,800
Montaje: Redención
Subtítulos: dahhny

999
00:21:12,491 --> 00:21:15,800
.: tusseries & subXpacio :.